Words Left Unspoken
by justbreathe19
Summary: Kendall leaves Logan in hopes of everything he's stressing over clearing up. Logan goes through flashbacks of his & Kendall's relationship in hopes of Kendall going back to him. I suck at summaries but read please. Rated T now but may change later.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So this is my first attempt at a mostly flashback story. The first chapter will be very short just because it's leading up to everything that led up to this moment!**

Logan stared at Kendall, eyes full to the brim with tears.

"Kendall.. does it really have to be this way?" Logan choked out. He couldn't help but sob as the love of his life slowly nodded his head.

"I'm sorry Logie, we need a break. With everything I have going on right now, plus the stress of the band, I need to get my head on straight," Kendall said as calmly as possible.

All Logan could do was stare at Kendall as he sobbed. Not quite sure of what to do, he opened the door and stepped out. Kendall looked intently at the road, trying not to make eye contact with Logan as he shut the door with a sense of finality. Logan looked longingly after his lovers car, wishing with all his might it was just a dream.

"He'll come back for me, I know he will. He loves me and I love him..." Logan whispered as another round of sobs took over his body and he collapsed to the ground.

Logan's thoughts rolled back to the very first time he met Kendall, and it was all memories from there...

**Like I said, this chapter is very short. :) please review and leave feedback.**

**Next chapter will be much much longer! Thank you.**

**- Katie**


	2. Starlight

**Hi, so I finally decided to update. I'm in a really odd mood & decided to take it out on story writing. Enjoy, R&R please.**

**Logan's POV**

"MMOOOMMMMMMM!" I yelled loudly, I hate waiting to go to the park! Heelllllooo! There are swings there!

"Give me 3 more minutes Logie, you can go ahead and wait out front," my mom yelled down the stairs. That was all I needed, I ran outside and waited by the curb.

_Swwwiiingggsss, I get to go on the swiiinnngggssss. I wonder if I'll meet a new friend. School is starting soon. That would be awesome!_

My thoughts were caught off as my mommy grabbed my hand. The park was right across the street! I was already staring at the swings.

I started bouncing up and down. My mom giggled as we crossed the street, looking both ways for cars of course.

"Bye mom! I'll be on the swings!" I yelled. She just laughed and sat down on one of the park benches. I was already half way to the open swing I saw when I looked up... and there was someone already on it. This boy with short blonde hair and a little stuffed dog had took my swing! Are you kidding me? I decided to just walk away. There was no point in waiting, no one ever got off those swings willingly.

"Hi, uhm, do you wanna share the swing with me?" the boy was almost so quiet I didn't hear him. Sure enough, when I turned around he was looking at me with a little smile on his face. I think he might have even been blushing. My mom always did that when she was embarrassed or she had a new man friend...

"Sure!" I smiled widely, "My name's Logan!" I was practically standing on top of this boy. The idea of making a new friend was driving me crazy!

"Hi.. I'm Kendall.." the small boy said quietly, staring at the ground.

"Well, Kendall. I think we are going to be great friends," I said, my smile almost as big as it was when he offered to share the swing.

"Friends? I've never had a friend before..." Kendall was still staring at the ground, he finally looked up at me with a gap tooth smile on his face, " I would love to be your friend."

"Yaaaay!" I cried. Me and Kendall spent all afternoon taking turns on the swings. He would push me, then when he got tired, we'd switch. It felt like we had only been playing for 5 minutes. Then my mom came up and told me it was almost dinner time and that we needed to go home. Kendall looked kind of sad, he turned around to leave when I got a very, very good idea.

"Mom, do you think Kendall and I could have dinner in the park? You'll be right across the street so you'll know that were safe! Please pleaseeee pleaseeeee!" I was literally screaming. All my mom did was chuckle. She waved us back to the swings and told me she'd be back with our dinner in about 5 minutes.

"Thanks Logan, I really like spending time with you," Kendall said shyly.

I grinned, " Me too Kendall, you made today more fun than I ever thought I could have at the park," this got a smile from him, and I couldn't help but smile back.

My mom had brought us a blanket and a picnic basket full of hotdogs and CapriSuns. Me and Kendall both started mowing down on the food.

"Your mom seems really nice.. I like her," Kendall said almost too quietly for me to hear.

"Yeah, she's really nice. How about your mom?" I asked.

"My mom doesn't really play with me anymore. She had a new baby, and now the baby gets all the attention. My dad's sick too, so with the baby and my dad, my mom doesn't have a lot of time for me anymore.." Kendall whispered. He looked about ready to cry.

A tear ran down Kendall's face. I wiped it off and he stared at me. He looked almost shocked that someone had touched him, or tried to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Kenny. We just moved in about a week ago, my dad died and my mom couldn't live in our old house anymore.. You can stay with us if you want, it would be fun having another person in the house again," I looked down the entire time, talking about my dad was usually very hard. With Kendall, it seemed to come out without me even thinking about it.

I came out of my thoughts to find Kendall's arm wrapped around me. "I'm sorry Logie, no one ever deserves to lose there daddy," Kendall said, he unwrapped his arms from around me and laid down. "The stars are really pretty tonight, I think all of the stars are people, and the really pretty ones shine brightly."

I laid down next to Kendall, our heads right next to each other. We stared up at the stars. I knew from this point on me and Kenny were going to be best friends forever.

**Well that's it for this chapter. R&R and let me know what you think.**

**I know Logan's dad isn't dead in the show, but I figured the 2 of them needed something to relate upon, so I added it in there. :)**

**I think the next chapter is going to focus on when Kendall's dad dies... don't know yet. :)**


	3. It'll be okay, Kendall

**A/N: Yes, I realize my updates are super slow. Writers block is a killer. Anyway, this chapter is all about the day Kendall's dad dies, & his memorial service. My best friend chose Kendall's dad's name, since we have no idea what it actually is.**

**Okay, to the story.**

**Logan's POV:**

I was 9 the day Kendall's dad died. My mom ran into my room in the middle of the night, we were gonna go to Kendall's house. What I didn't understand was why she was crying.

My mom grabbed my hand and dragged me out the front door. We literally bolted to Kendall's house. There was an ambulance parked outside, it's siren was blaring. That's when I knew something really bad had happened.

Mama Knight was watching a stretcher with something that looked like a body on it. It was being put in the back of the ambulance. She saw my mom and immediately collapsed in her arms. I had never heard anyone cry that hard before.

I went inside the house, the door was unlocked, which was very weird for the Knight house. Kendall was sitting on the couch, his eyes were red and he kept sniffling. He stared out the window, I don't even think he noticed me come into the room. I sat down next to him and put my hand on his knee.

"Kendall?" I asked, trying to get a reaction out of him.

He slowly turned to me, his eyes looked dead.

"Logie, my dad is gone," Kendall whispered.

Right after that he started crying. All I could do was sit there and comfort him like I wish somebody had done for me.

It was the day of Mr. Knight's memorial service. I knew this was the day we were all going to say goodbye to him forever.

We met Kendall's family outside the church hall. Kendall stood there quietly. I think it was taking him awhile to really let everything set in.

A lot of people showed up to the service. Everyone seemed anxious to give there final goodbyes to the man that gave his all to everyone else.

"In memory of Howard Knight, we gather here today to say our goodbyes and wish him a peaceful passing onto heaven..." the minister began. I zoned out as Kendall squeezed my hand. I looked over at him, but he just stared straight ahead. I didn't think anyone was going to be able to get through to him at this point.

The rest of us followed the car that had Howard in it to the graveyard. The minister gave a speech about his passing into another world, and how his life will have a great impact on all of ours forever. Throughout all of this Kendall didn't move, if it wasn't for his chest moving up and down I would have thought he was dead too.

Mama Knight gave a little speech about her husband, she cried the entire time. I felt so bad. My mom did the same thing when my daddy died.

Reality finally set in for Kendall as his dad's casket was lowered into the ground. He sunk to the floor and released all the emotions he had been feeling. Everyone looked at him sympathetically, but no one could really understand just how hard this was.

Kendall and I sat there for hours, staring at the newly covered spot that would contain his father forever. His head laid in my lap, and he sobbed silently as we stared. All I did was stroke his hair. Nothing I could say or do would make this any easier for him, but I knew my presence helped him remain just a tad stronger. Just a tad.

**Annndddd that's the next chapter. I put it in the past tense since it is Logan's memories. Reviews are nice, and my writers block gives me no idea how to write the next chapter.**

**Review, alert, favorite. Please and thank you.**

**Follow me on twitter!**

**ChaoticKatie_**


	4. Meeting James Diamond

**A/N: I'm definitely not getting the response I was hoping for on this story. So this will probably be my last update for awhile while I go back to song writing. I still have major writers block, so I doubt this will be any good.**

**Logan's POV:**

I remember our first day of middle school. Kendall and I got to take the bus since our mom's decided we were "big boys." I was overly excited, as usual. Kendall was quiet, it had been almost a year since his dad died. I felt so bad, but he definitely needed time to mourn and cope with it.

Like usual, Kendall and me had almost all the same classes. Except for gym, which scared me. Kendall had never really been all that "tough", or even "macho" for that matter. I tried not to think too much of it as we went our separate ways for that one class period.

Lucky for me, my gym period was right after Kendall's, so I went into the locker room just in time to see Kendall get punched across the jaw by the school bully, James Diamond. Kendall being Kendall, didn't even put up a fight as James slammed him into the lockers. My first instinct was to run up and grab the overly tall boy. I basically threw him across the locker room as Kendall tried to regain his stance.

"Thanks Logie," he whispered almost inaudibly.

All I did was nod as I marched up to James. I had never really liked him, he thought he could get by acting like he was the toughest shit out there. I definitely thought differently. I grabbed him by his shirt collar, and was about ready to punch him in the face when I saw something in his eyes. Fear. I made James Diamond scared. The boy that thought no one could ever defeat him, was scared.

I slowly released his collar at that point. Seeing the fear in his eyes didn't make me want to hurt him. It made me feel almost, bad for him. In a strange way. I had a feeling there was a lot more to this kid then he would ever let on.

I held out my hand to him, and he looked at it like it was a foreign object to him. He reluctantly took it. I could see the silent but deep apology in his eyes. We turned to Logan, he looked scared out of his mind. But when he saw James' face, he seemed to loosen up. Together, we walked out of the locker room, everyone's eyes were following us as the doors slammed with a sense of finality.

That was the day James Diamond became one of our best friends.

**Okay that's it, I would love some reviews from someone other then my best friend, even though I know she'll review it anyway.**


	5. Back off, Jo Taylor

**A/N: I actually got some feedback! Thanks guys. :)**

**Definitely still writing through my writers block, bare with me.**

**Oh, since I am doing this as part of the show, I realized that I shouldn't have used Schmidt as Kendall's dad's last name. So I'm going to act like they all went back to Kendall's mom's maiden name, which is Knight. :p like I said, bare with me!**

**There will be some cuss words in this chapter, if you're uncomfortable with that then please don't read.**

**Disclaimer: if I owned big time rush I wouldn't be on fanfiction. I think that says enough.**

**Logan's POV:**

It was our 10th grade year when I realized I had developed feelings for Kendall. Not just best friend feelings. I didn't just like him. I _like _liked him. The way his hair went in his eyes just a little bit. How he constantly felt the need to be in control of every situation. That crooked smile he gave me whenever we were about to do something completely stupid. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he became extremely happy...

Screw like liking him. I was head over heels in love with Kendall Knight.

Could he know? Not just no. But HELL NO.

Big Time Rush had just become a very big deal. We were all now sharing an apartment at the Palmwoods Hotel. That meant lots of new, very stuck up friends. At first all of us were inseparable. We had even become really close friends with our new band member, Carlos Garcia.

I guess you can say the feelings for Kendall didn't really develop until he stopped spending time with us. All for one person. Yeah, you guessed it.

He started dating Jo Taylor.

The words, insanelymotherfuckingjealous came to mind when I saw them holding hands by the pool one day after a long day at the studio. It was fishstickfriday and Kendall was no where to be found. So of course I was the one sent out to look for him.

Boy, I did not like finding him with her. Jo Taylor. The words are like venom, threatening to poison my friendship and feelings for Kendall.

I could feel the tears starting to well up in the corners of my eyes as I watched him hold HER hand. As he brushed back HER hair. As her kissed HER lips.

I couldn't watch anymore. I left my heart shattered on the floor as I ran as far away as I possibly could.

**My chapters are really short, oh well.**

**Someone help me with ideas! I need to know if I should make kendall find logan & try and fix things. Or if logan should come home on his own.**

**Read & review please! :)**


	6. Finally Falling

**A/N: I can finally update at my dad's! I don't think you can understand the excitement this has caused for me. Anyway! Onto the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this story.**

**Logan's POV:**

Okay, to be completely honest, there wasn't really anywhere I could run without the possibility of being raped or killed. It's LA for heaven's sake. So I ran to the closest place I could find. Yep, Palmwoods Park. It was nearly 11 at night already, so of course I'd be the only idiot at the park. I sat in between 2 trees and just let my mind race.

"_I'm really jealous, of Jo? Really? She isn't even that pretty! I mean sure, maybe to someone that's straight she's… wait. Did I just admit to being gay? No, that didn't happen." _I thought to myself. I swear if anyone had been around they would have heard my thoughts. The thought: _you are gay, stop lying to yourself _kept going through my head. I'm surprised I wasn't screaming it to anyone that would listen. I decided to put my headphones in.

**"Finally Falling"**  
><strong>(feat. Avan Jogia)<strong>

Suddenly, my choice is clear.

I knew when only you and I were standing here.

And beautiful, is all I see.

It's only you, I know it's true. It has to be.

Well that money isn't worth a thing, if you didn't earn it, you don't deserve it.  
>True love doesn't cost a thing and if you try to buy it, you can't return it.<p>

No no oh oh!

Your friends are doing all the same things!  
>And my friends are, look at what you're missing!<p>

Well it doesn't matter if we change their minds!

Suddenly I can see what I didn't before!  
>And I don't care what they say anymore!<br>'Cause I'm falling, falling! (Falling)  
>Finally falling, falling! (Falling)<p>

Well I don't need all the finer things, diamond rings and nothing.  
>So show me something.<br>'Cause love is all I need, all I ever wanted.  
>And now I got it.<p>

Yeah yeah yeah!

My friends are wondering what you're thinking!  
>And your friends are probably thinking the same thing!<p>

But it doesn't matter if we change their minds!

Suddenly I can see what I didn't before!  
>And I don't care what they say anymore!<br>'Cause I'm falling, falling! (Falling)  
>Finally falling, falling! (Falling)<p>

If you can't find love when you're in it.  
>Don't forget it.<br>It would change your mind once you get it.  
>Don't you get it?<br>'Cause we did it.  
>Yeah we did it.<br>Well we did it.

Suddenly I can see what I didn't before!  
>And I don't care what they say anymore!<br>'Cause I'm falling, falling! (Falling)  
>Finally falling, falling! (Falling)<p>

Suddenly I can see what I didn't before!  
>And I don't care what they say anymore!<br>'Cause I'm falling, falling! (Falling)  
>Finally falling falling!<p>

Finally falling, falling! (Falling)  
>Finally falling, falling! (Falling)<p>

I had to admit that this song described my situation perfectly. I was finally falling. For Kendall of all people. I felt a tear roll down my face. Why did he have to make me feel like _this? _My stomach was in knots, and all he was probably thinking about was Jo.

I don't know how, but I could hear my name being called through my headphones.

I looked up just in time to see Kendall run into the middle of the street.

And get hit by a car at full speed.

**Woo for shitty chapters! But this is what happens at almost 1 in the morning when I can't sleep. **

**Review please they mean a lot to me!**


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